| Gleams & Glimpses |
[Oct. 4th, 2009|08:00 pm] |
| [ | ha !! |
| | Radiohead: All I Need | ] |
On 09/09/09 it was my 24th birthday! I celebrated with a stormy beach weekend, Mexican seafood (including Southwestern-style sushi rolls that were slightly off-putting, but mostly genius. I had mahi mahi fajitas that were the bomb), a Hibachi-style dinner (strangely called "Kabuki" even though there's no theatre involved whatsoever), and loved ones abounding. I'm reluctant to draw attention to my younger writing style (so much bewildering modification!) but here are my birthdays over the past few years: 23, 21, 20, and 19.
This year has flown by, or at least it feels like I've missed it in my preoccupation with all else. It's also felt like my first year of solid adulthood. I've been marking the occasion with taking a more active role in checking my overall health with various doctors visits: updating outdated diagnoses, and getting vaccinations I've intended to get for too long now. More joy than woe by a long shot.
There is no mooning about how great the old times were. I'll leave the rest for the cut.
( Raleigh summertime )
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| Because the internet doesn't know enough about me already. |
[Feb. 11th, 2009|11:47 am] |
| [ | ha !! |
| | broken telephone - the be good tanyas | ] |
A friend came over last night with some poetry, which I normally don’t care for, but ”Self Portrait at 28” by David Berman was lovely. Many people seem to be moving on and elsewhere, and though I’m pretty content with my life right now, I still feel constant, upwelling urgency. I think it's really a compulsion to write; instead I keep fault-finding and confusing myself.
I get hung up on all the things I'm not doing and should be doing, but don't pay enough attention to what I have accomplished, what I do well, or what I don't need to change. I thought it'd be a good exercise to make of list of Things Resolved rather than my perpetual, discouraging list of resolutions (and I'd share this with you, except it's pretty self-indulgent).
Not the winter of discontent, but of best friends and financial independence!
( Snug Winter )
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| Books Read Montañas |
[Jan. 11th, 2009|04:08 pm] |
| [ | ha !! |
| | skinny love - bon iver | ] |
2008
1. Keep the Aspidistra Flying by George Orwell
2. Wizard of Oz by Salman Rushdie
3. Are Prisons Obsolete? by Angela Davis
4. Oroonoko by Aphra Behn
5. Absalom, Absalom! by William Faulkner
6. Love in Excess by Eliza Haywood
7. Roxana by Daniel Defoe
8. Pamela by Samuel Richardson
9. Joseph Andrews by Henry Fielding
10. A Simple Story by Elizabeth Inchbald
11. The Sound and the Fury by William Faulkner
12. Blood Meridian by Cormac McCarthy
13. Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close by Jonathan Safran Foer
14. The God Delusion by Richard Dawkins
15. The Body Artist by Don DeLillo
16. From Slogans to Mantras by Stephen Kent
17. Out After Dark by Hugh Leonard
18. The Picture of Dorian Gray by Oscar Wilde
19. The World Without Us by Alan Weisman
20. Madeleine by Andre Gide
21. Grendel by John Gardner
22. The Diving Bell and the Butterfly by Jean-Dominique Bauby
23. The Omnivore's Dilemma by Michael Pollan
24. Look Homeward, Angel by Thomas Wolfe
25. All the Pretty Horses by Cormac McCarthy
26. Nickel and Dimed by Barbara Ehrenreich
27. Other Voices, Other Rooms by Truman Capote
28. Under the Banner of Heaven by Jonathan Krakaeur
29. The Violent Bear it Away by Flannery O'Connor
( Versus 2007 ) |
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| Summer Pt. 2 |
[Dec. 13th, 2008|12:52 pm] |
Triple Exposure in Rodanthe
( Whole House )
Fall storm on Carolina Beach.
Simply speaking: winter fell and my work days are really sun days (indoors from sunrise to set; I hardly know what the weather is unless I hear crashing thunder or a small, distant voice: “it’s snowing!”). Otherwise, everything is great. I really have the love of my life back in Full Form, fully present. It means lots of cooking (ratatouille, black bean chili, eggplant parmesan, tilapia-yellow rice-edemame combos, pumpkin pie from sugar pumpkins, quiches, etc) together, also coming home to the warmest, most loving encouragement and affirmation. Oh, and having my back scratched daily (!!!), loooong night walks (sometimes with a Tecate concealed), endless plan-making and dream-weaving. Also: my house is a home. We have a family of four + 3 cats + best friends moving in across the street + lovelies over to lounge or play Phase 10 every night. Most importantly, I think: I’m now hired full-time and really, really like my job. Aside from sheer relief, I adore my coworkers, time passes quickly every day, and I’m happy to be there. Mostly I get to play in InDesign and Photoshop all day, and have conferences to look forward to (the first: International Studies Association in New York, mid-February, then Baltimore in March). Not to mention the fact that this job has been a bit of a pipe dream for years. I think that’s enough vaguery in one, tight paragraph. |
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| Summer: loooong overdue |
[Oct. 29th, 2008|08:58 pm] |
( Whatever happened to Indian Summer? )
This has been pending all summer. Anne & I moved to a new, whole house; I work all the time; I love my friendfamily and somehow Brian and I squeezed in a trip to the mountains, bonfires, slow cooking, pumpkin carving (a white, lumina pumpkin), etc etc. Also, Brian told me over the weekend that a family friend gave him 2 free, round-trip tickets to anywhere in the continental US or Canada, but they're only good until the end of November. I have the longest list of places I'd like to go, but since it'd probably only be for a three or four-day weekend we have a lot of things to think about. What if you were in that position? Somewhere costly to take advantage of the offer (Oregon, San Francisco)? Somewhere beautiful in the middle of nowhere that would probably require a rental car (Olympic State Park, Big Sur), somewhere we'd never think to go otherwise (Halifax, Nova Scotia; an autumn vacation in South Dakota; Montreal; Memphis), a city where we'd have a place to stay/people to visit also (Austin, TX; Portland; San Francisco; Chicago; New York)? Somewhere south of the Mason Dixon line to warm up before the winter really kicks in (New Orleans, Miami)? I think I have to pick a place by Halloween and I think we're going to Austin. Little Wayne, Birdman & Cupid canceled their Halloween show because Weezy had a new baaaby by some unknown. I thought it was all about the money, Weezy. |
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| Bois Blanc Island, Michigan. |
[Sep. 14th, 2008|12:48 pm] |
| [ | ha !! |
| | Luke's Funk Grooves & Slow Jams birthday mix :D | ] |
( The Upper Peninsula )
Anne and I are in the process of moving to a house all our own, so our old house is all wood and startled cats, and the new is paint fumes and drop cloths, open drawers, teetering book stacks, bikes and chairs with missing cushions. Also one million inherited, beautiful, and terrified feral kittens in the yard. My new room is all brick, with a bricked up mantle, six windows, a glass door, and the most horrid, soft gray paint. I spent yesterday on the floor chipping away yielding paint, sometimes finding windows of exposed brick or tortured soil painted up into the wall. I painted one wall a foamy robin egg greenblue but it looks like the most awful sea green, glinting in every brick crevice. No amount of work could re-expose that brick, and I have no idea what color would actually look okay. I have a fallow browny purple off-tint also; can you bring an existing color to a paint shop and have it darkened?
There was a tiny party last night for my birthday, and then a swarming mingle at Logan. As always, I look to myself too much around my birthday for confirmation of where I am, where I should be, and who is still or newly present. I’m grateful and relieved I have a stable wickiup of lifetime friends and friendsupport, and no matter how hard I can be on myself, no mental strain could reduce any of them away. It’s adorable that people brought presents and pet names to a Party.
I also have the love of my life home again and it is so, so nice to have him home to tell me what a manticore is, show me bioluminescent plankton in the dock shadows, and have potato-leek soup stewing for me when I get home from work. He dignifies everything I do, it seems, and even loves Tammy Wynette because I do. I have really committed myself to Raleigh now, so that’s a little overwhelming, I just didn’t expect to cozy up here so soon. Still, I can’t remember feeling more at home than I do now. And I missed the South more when I was in Ireland than I miss Ireland now. So much for moving back to Dublin / Chicago? |
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| springtide & summerslumber |
[Jun. 5th, 2008|01:37 pm] |
( Each moment is the fruit of forty thousand years - Thomas Wolfe )
Summer has been really regenerative for me and especially friends/wider social circle. This town feels prized open, and it hasn’t for a long time. Some friendships are clearly lifelong and lifecourse-changing and already I’ve decided to stay rather than move on, as planned, mostly because of the force of one friendship. She is so devoted, selfless and I’m willing to delay a fresh start to live with her longer.
Since last time, I: graduated from college, started working for my favorite publishing company Oxford University Press! in Journals – hopefully they keep me, have continued my pursuit of grotesque &/or time-honored Southern writing (read: the Sound and the Fury by Faulkner at last, Blood Meridian by Cormac McCarthy, am in the center of Winesburg, Ohio by Sherwood Anderson and a long stride into Look Homeward, Angel by Thomas Wolfe), have started summer swimming (Fort Fisher, rock quarries, lakes, rivers and pools); walked out on my restaurant job mid-shift and am so, so glad I am done with restaurant people (get lives!), spent a week in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan, went to a weekend craft festival in Asheville, and spent most of my Raleigh nights in living rooms, porches and front lawns. I know I will never start making any new friends within these esoteric spaces. And sadly have said goodbye or see-you-in-some-months to far, far too many. Photoblogs are so dead. |
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| C H I C A G O ! |
[Jan. 20th, 2008|05:21 pm] |
The Green Mill was so decked out – balloons bobbing across the ceiling, trailing ribbon ringlets; all the women in glitzy paper tiaras; collapsible, plastic champagne glasses; gilt on everything imaginable; overdone molding, etc.
( Christmas, New Years and Chicago )
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 13th, 2007|08:00 pm] |
( NICARAGUA. )
& now my wanderlust has finally abated a bit - good timing because I have no choice. I can barely afford the gas needed to move back to Raleigh!!!!
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 19th, 2007|10:27 pm] |
Goodbye Ireland D: D: D: D: &&&&
( summer²: horizontal bearing beam. )
+ Charlotte, Raleigh, Durham, the Outer banks
+ Independence Day &
+ 7/7/7 Alleycat
+ Elena's wedding & hootenanny
+ Tricia's Dirtiest Thirtieth
Watching marsh fires in Manteo after the fireworks were over. I guess the consequent fires in marshland obey the laws of energy (never lost – only converted from one form into another). |
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| west Kerry: Portmagee near the Skelligs; part of the Ring of Kerry |
[Apr. 27th, 2007|06:08 pm] |
On Dairbhre (Valencia Island), the western-most, inhabited location in Europe off the Iveragh Peninsula.
( Irish by birth, Munster by the grace of God! )
(& this post has nothing to do with rugby - the Good, the Bad and the Rugby - I just enjoy the slogan for Munster's rugby team.
Valencia Island & Anne-gaïd
Questions:
1. Whatever happened to Sinbad???
2. I am in a position where I am as likely as not to go to Centroamérica for 3 to 4 weeks this summer with a good friend from My Chicago Past. It will mostly come down to how my parents feel about it, because I’m still a dependent & although I would be able to afford it from working during college, I wouldn’t if they weren’t helping to support me. If any of you have been to Guatemala, el Salvador, Honduras, Nicaragua, Belize, Costa Rica or Panama then will you share stories, advice, suggestions generally?
3. I just saw a press release announcing a conference on Criminal Justice & Human Rights this morning, so at first I was excited, but it’s a conference for “postgrad research scholars” (& there is a fee), which is pretty problematic to me… how can you have a evenhanded discussion on criminal justice & human rights with only fee-paying post grads present? I’ll try sneaking in anyway like I’ve done with every conference this year. Hopefully it won’t be rotten, like I kind of think it will be. |
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| Amsterdam; Osnabrück, Germany |
[Apr. 18th, 2007|04:01 pm] |
The middle one is Maren's father; I stayed on his (the Engelker) farm.
"Hallo, meine Schatz!"
( Klik hier! )
(Dutch is an unbelievably amusing language)
Scheiße! Easter Bonfire! |
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| Mountaineering & Climbing in North Wales! |
[Apr. 5th, 2007|02:51 pm] |
This was a little bit of a last hurrah because UCCMC's mountaineering season is over, so nothing else is "organized" & the rest of my climbing experiences will have to be on my own/with willing mountaineers.
( Llanberis, Wales! )
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| For Ciara [key-air-uh] vs. [keer-ah]. |
[Feb. 9th, 2007|05:15 pm] |
First of all, I'd like to say how much I wish I had been recording this conversation I had with Liam, because I’m reconstructing his speech now & forgetting a lot of really delightful manners of speech, which really does no justice to his craft of storytelling. Context: following a Shell to Sea discussion, everyone relaxes with each other in a nearby pub. This was all taken down with frantic memory logging and absorbed conversation. I'm very pleased with myself for remembering so many of his facts & 'yarns' even with several hot whiskeys stirring about my brain.
( Liam. ) |
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| I send my nose to you. |
[Dec. 10th, 2006|01:40 am] |
[baɾθeˈlona]!!
( Deadly, girl. )
"Just under the surface I shall be, all together at first, then separate and drift, through all the earth and perhaps in the end through a cliff into the sea, something of me. A ton of worms in an acre, that is a wonderful thought, a ton of worms, I believe it." - Samuel Beckett
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| "I'll be sorry I met you," she said. "Met me!" said Murphy, "Met is magnificent." |
[Sep. 25th, 2006|10:41 pm] |
( Fota House; Corcaigh, middle - end of September inclusive; Kinsale! )
A sample of the most pleasing print that colors my room. A 1957 Sportsmen's guide covering from eastern North Carolina at Ocracoke Inlet to the New River. These barrier islands make me miss home, as do other things. My mom wants to know if I have changed my mind, if I will come home for winter break. I need advice making this decision, which needs to be made now. I already have some casual invitations to: stay in Adare; go skiing in Finland with some Irish!; spend Christmas near Osnabrück, Germany; probably stay in Sweden. However! It will be cold & Christmas & lonely & I miss many people including the tiny one with the inverted widow's peak. |
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| "Happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way." -L.T. Ch.1 Ln.1 |
[Sep. 9th, 2006|02:48 am] |
Leo Tolstoy and I are 21 DD/MM/YYYYs old today! (He is really 177 & “Count Lev Nikolayevich Tolstoy”. Лев Никола́евич Толсто́й.)
Yesterday morning my literature professor brought me a packet she had put together announcing the joint BAAL & IRAAL Annual Conference at UCC September 7th –9th. That’s the British Association for Applied Linguistics and the Irish Association for Applied Linguistics. Unfortunately, the going rate for non-member tickets is € 245 per day (that’s about $319 a day and $957 for the conference). I left registration completely defeated, but the next piece of advice: “In the pursuit of knowledge, all is free. Show up and act like you belong”. The conference has been wonderful but the added kindness!, attentiveness!, patience!, and encouragement! I’ve received from these British & Irish (Welsh, South African, Chinese, Japanese, Iranian, American, et al.) Drs and Professors is without compare. Today I was given a ticket to a private reception dinner (“Cailin, there will be free wine…”), but because I’m shy & a little taken aback by their attention I reluctantly did laundry instead. I have endless naïve questions & derisory responses – met with so little pretension. Everyone needs a bit of encouragement & sometimes I feel like the whole department is one astounding, neuter mentor. There is also a very wonderful infoshop 4 blocks from my house. Therein lies more community, support, and cat owners.
I miss: astringent, the peace of mind I had with a quickbike so I could leave places very late & not feel as paranoid about harassment, spray butter, tinyface tinypaws tinytongue tinymeow tinybundle of tender affection, small red backpack, long underwear, used clothing, sewing tools, chokingly: M.Adams (I think I will never get over this!), all the friends. This birthday I feel particularly empty. If these sage ones find out it is my birthday tomorrow I think they are going to embarass me very much. I will celebrate with 35-60 year old academians. |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 4th, 2006|12:11 am] |
| [ | ha !! |
| | Loch Tay vs. Ohio River | ] |
( Coole Park, Inis Meáin (Inishmaan), Aran Islands & 24 hours of Galway (unpictured). )
"sea, islands, fishing, pubs, farms, trees, grass, shrubs, bushes, various other forms of herbiage....moss for example, rivers, streams, streamlets, puddles (especially after rainfall... which is occasional) sheep, cows, goats, dogs, chickens, ducks, geese, sparrows, crows, other form of birdlife etc... etc... etc..." |
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| & she gave me a book entitled, "My Michigan". |
[Aug. 27th, 2006|03:45 pm] |
| [ | >:( !!! |
| |  refreshed | ] |
So at the moment I am in Cork (Corcaigh), Ireland but the night before I left I had set this entry up, hoping to write captions and post while waiting at one of several airports (Charlotte Douglas, Chicago O’Hare or Glasgow Prestwick) but none had navigable wifi though they all seemed to have quite a strong signal. Either way, I’ve done all this from before, so though it’s been several weeks since I’ve been back, here are my pictures from Michigan (before a real, updated post from IRELAND!).
the Upper Penninsula:
( Bois Blanc Island, MI; Round Island, MI; Mackinac Island, MI. )
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| My home Raleigh. |
[Aug. 15th, 2006|12:14 pm] |
Yesterday my brother took me up in a tinyplane to float over Raleigh. I was his first passenger (he got his pilot's license two weeks ago, the day of his 23rd birthday!). We were only about 1/2 to 3/4ths of a mile above the city so I could just open up my window and sort of stick my face in the sky. It is a good way to reminisce, say goodbye to my home for what will be a year.
The last three weeks have been one long goodbye and if I didn't get to see you and tell you goodbye it is because I avoid them. Moving out, more than two weeks of the Upper Penninsula in Michigan & Ann Arbor, Carowinds and three days of Raleigh.
These were my last days in Raleigh. This weekend will be Asheville. I leave a week from tomorrow.
Goodbye Chris, goodbye Tord, goodbye Matt, goodbye Will, goodbye Jordan, goodbye Cailin.
( Raleigh from the sky. )
Raleigh from South of the city looking North. |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 8th, 2006|11:52 pm] |
Hi,
I'm in New Orleans right now (at "Napoleon's Itch" off of Bourbon St.) and our car was totaled yesterday. So, aside from the fact that this is financially a big mess (the owner of the car wasn't driving, the car has only liability insurance and not collision, the frame is possibly bent, and not to mention we are more than 900 miles from home where most businesses are still closed and the backlog for body shops are months long) - we are sort of without a way home. What will probably end up happening is we'll have to split up and be picked up various places along 40 or 85 (ideally in Durham, for example) or our friend will drive down with a truck and dollie attached and turn right around to drag us and the car back. So. If anyone has good ideas, solutions, suggestions, or the like, that would be appreciated.
Please call me, it isn't likely that I'll get to a computer.
Bye! |
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| Spring 2006 |
[Jan. 12th, 2006|10:23 pm] |
Before realizing the full force of drunken David: 40oz track stands.
( outaorder ) |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 16th, 2005|12:44 am] |
"Tagged":
1. My great-grandparents on my mom’s side are: Hulda, August, Orrin, and Eva. (Hulda from Sweden, August from Finland, Eva from Germany, Orrin from Michigan). My grandmother just sent me a delightful portrayal of them.
2. I am mildly obsessed with wikipedia.
3. My summer’s wishlist is ongoing. I will either:
- Be a camp counselor
- Go with B.Shaw to Ireland (June 5-June 30) while taking Irish Renaissance Literature (I need you, Daniel, to tell me about this)
- Go WWOOFing (1st in West Virginia with my Aunt, then the west coast)
- Hike as much of the Appalachian trail as my body can handle
- Travel from Quito through Peru, Chile, and maybe Argentina
- Or travel alone in Northern Europe (Brussels to Köln to Hamburg to Cöpenhagen to Stockholm to Oslo to Bergen to the Shetland Islands to Éire). I decide on something different every week. Why don’t I have travel partner friends?
4. I really badly want a mentor. I am patiently waiting for this person to breeze into my life. Preferably much older, much wiser, quite warm, and very cultured. (Some perfect English professor.)
5. My favorite place to be is still Bois Blanc Island, Michigan.
6. I can be very presumptuous.
7. I am friends with every person I have ever dated (“friends” might be a stretch for one I dated during high school, though. Okay terms, at least.)
8. One of my most discouraging shortcomings is the Spanish language. I am doing this rather than my Spanish take-home test.
9. I have dual citizenship.
10. The cover of my journal is Albrecht Dürer. I am almost incapable of writing in it. Dante is the closest thing to my journal. Actually, Liz.
I am not going to tag anyone. You should tell me facts about yourself, though.
Dr. Doom
( Halloween; Brunswick, GA ) |
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| Dear Andrea Journal, |
[Oct. 23rd, 2005|07:45 pm] |
"Si hubiera sabido que te gustaba la paella, te la habría preparado."
( Asheville, NC )
Tardy: Happy 22nd Birthday Carley! |
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| Sidestep: |
[Sep. 14th, 2005|11:46 pm] |
I am no longer younger than I seem, but I am not grieving. I have lived quite a bit from nineteen to twenty, and the concept of “a year” pales in substantiality to the amount of growth, pleasure and experience that I’ve nestled into this duration. I really haven’t informed most people outside of my immediate routine how my life has been; I think that’s fair. The principle changes are thus: I have a new kitten that I still dote on and delight in; I feel really great about my job and working for this place of business; I live with two permissible roommates and next door to three other healthy individuals; after some months of uncertainty, I am single and will both enjoy and prolong this posture; I am ready to declare a double major (English: Language, Writing and Rhetoric and Political Science: International Politics) & minor; I feel like my world view is in a state of change and improvement; I finally persuaded my body to run; I make too many lists.
Last night I pulled myself out of a Gordian knot and called the first decent human being that came to my mind. I feel awkward about everything. I am not sure what I want, but I know what is best and thoughtful and I am certain of what is ultimately germane in the scheme of all things involved.
Here are some pictures, because that’s all you are looking for:
( Don't if you have cat allergies ) |
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